Let’s Have a Serious Talk about Divorce
Recently, a friend, very concerned about the state of marriage, asked me to address the issue of divorce. Now if you follow my personal Facebook account, then you know (or should know) EXACTLY how I feel about it. But for those who don’t know, that’s what this post is for. Here’s goes nothing.
DIVORCE IS LEGALIZED UNFORGIVENESS.
I’m sorry, did that sound harsh??
It was meant to.
As always, you know that I’ll use the Bible as the foundation for my argument. So let’s see what it says on the matter.
The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?”
And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?”
He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”
His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” (Matthew 19:3-10)
That’s what the Word says. And for some of you New-Testament-only “believers,” these are the red letters of Jesus the Christ.
And there you have it: divorce was NEVER the will of God. And according to Hebrews 13:8, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” So that tells us that if God hated divorce in the beginning, then He yet hates it now. And He will at it at the end of time.
DIVORCE IS AN ACT OF VIOLENCE.
“For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,” says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.” (Malachi 2:16)
Hmmm, interesting. God equates divorce to violence, thus if you divorce your spouse for any reason (it provides no condition here) then you commit an act of violence against your spouse, yourself, and your children if you have them.
Now going back to the words of our Saviour, He said,
Look, divorce ain’t never God’s will. Period. But because you people can’t get past your unforgiveness and won’t treat God like God, then Moses broke down and included it in his laws. So your only out is if your spouse cheats on you.
(So, where are all those people now who are against the laws of Moses?? Oh that’s right, they’re only against the Mosaic Laws when it’s convenient for them. Gotcha.)
That, of course, was the Desiree Translation, yet the core of it remains the same: divorce is never God’s will. Because in doing so, you become guilty of legalized unforgiveness (which we know to be sin) and violence (which we also know to be sin).
Still think divorce isn’t wrong??
DIVORCE REJECTS THE VERY ESSENCE OF GOD.
When you divorce, you say that not even God can fix your marriage. That is a lie. God can do anything--if you let Him. So then it becomes, not a case of God’s impotence, but of your lack of faith or straight up disbelief in God.
This is what you tell God when you divorce:
The God (that I may or may not worship) Who made Heaven and Earth through His Wisdom and Word; Who is so great that He did not even need to be created yet simply was; Who split the Red Sea; wiped out the Army of Egypt in a day; caused His angel(s) to wipe out entire armies, cities, and regions in a moment; healed the sick; cast out devils; and very literally defeated Satan, Death, Hell, and the Grave through His death and resurrection over 2,000 years ago; Who now sits at the right-hand of the Father ever making intercession for YOU is not capable of fixing your marriage.
You also say:
The God Who purchased YOUR redemption with His Blood; gave YOU the right to become a son of God through birth in the Spirit; gave YOU the power to be His witness in all the earth; gave YOU the perfect model for prayer; gave you authority over devils, scorpions, dragons, and lions; gave YOU the authority and the power to bind (prohibit) and forbid (permit) anything on the earth according to His will; and already promised YOU a place in His army at the end of the Age beside Him if you keep His commandments can’t give you what is necessary to save your marriage.
The problem is obviously not on God’s end, the problem is on yours.
If you are truly discouraged (and who doesn’t get discouraged from time to time?) and undoubtedly, a sour marriage would make one discouraged, then ask God to help your unbelief, to increase your faith.
“Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24)
And the apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith.” (Luke 17:5)
Without faith, it is absolutely impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6). And if you can’t please God, you ain’t gettin’ into Heaven. Faith is our access point to the things of God. So if we can’t access Him here, what on earth would make us think we can access it after we’re dead.
Either God is God, or He isn’t.
DIVORCE REJECTS THE CHARACTER OF GOD.
If God were a man in a relationship, people would say He’s in an abusive, unhealthy relationship. Time and time again, Israel/the Church have slapped God in the face by rejecting Him, disobeying Him, “playing the harlot” against Him (idolatry)...you name it, we’ve done it. And yet God is still there.
As the ultimate prophetic demonstration, He had Hosea marry a whore--a woman who intentionally strayed from her marriage bed--and yet, remain married to her. There’s no guarantee (especially in that day) that any of the children she gave birth to were his. And yet, God had him stay. It was a picture of how we treat God. And yet He still loves us as if we were His beloved like in Song of Songs. Simply, because we are.
Now you this is where things get really hard to hear…
You tell me: If God via the Apostle Paul commanded husbands to love their wives as God loved us and gave Himself for us (Ephesians 5:25), and we are supposed to be imitators of Christ, then how do we figure divorce is part of that command? Newsflash: it’s not.
We are all commanded to love and forgive like God--men and women alike.
Tough stuff isn’t it? And if we can’t commit to our spouses like we should, then we shouldn’t get married at all.
His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” (Matthew 19:10)
DIVORCE IS SELFISHNESS.
This is where it really hits home for me. In Spring of 2010, my mother--due to the irresponsibility, etc. of other family members--left North Carolina to care for her ailing parents in California. A couple months later, that Summer, she called home to tell my dad and I that she had no intention of ever coming home.
This was the “way of escape” God had given her.
God wanted her to be happy.
(Can you picture the look on my face right now??)
My aunt, my mom’s sister, also recently left her husband to be “happy.”
There was no infidelity, no abuse, nothing at all that could warrant divorce. These women simply had unrealistic, selfish expectations that were not met.
You probably know of several people who have left their spouses to be “happy” and have cited “irreconcilable differences” as their reasoning. Now find that for me in the Bible where Jesus or any of the prophets or apostles says “irreconcilable differences” is cause for divorce.
God doesn’t make people ill to give you an out from your marriage.
God doesn’t make your happiness His priority. Especially if you live in direct rebellion to His Word. Happiness comes and goes for all of us and it largely depends on our disposition.
God doesn’t aid the Spirit of Jezebel in attempting to make an Ahab of one’s spouse.
And God REALLY doesn’t show you who you were “really” supposed to be married to whilst married to someone else. That’s the devil!!
God expects us to live up to our responsibilities and commitments unless they stop us from doing His will.
I love my mother, but she’s dead wrong.
DIVORCE CAN LEAD TO BACKSLIDING.
Unfortunately, I believe this to be the case with my mother. And definitely her sister.
I’ve met lovely people, wonderful people who have divorced and remarried. Some of them had the one biblical out in their favour while others didn’t. Yet there seems to be a distinct difference between those who divorce and admit their wrongs as opposed to those who divorce and think they’ve done no wrong.
Do you want to know why the divorce rate is so high? Because people who divorce and remarry are much more prone to divorce again...and again...and again because they expect a person to either fix a problem in them, fill a void, or simply that the grass is greener on the other side.
The grass is greener where you water it.
Forget the spiritual side, how can you expect to grow as a person if you never admit your wrongs?
I tweeted yesterday that, “If you already think you're great, then you're not going to try to improve yourself" (Brad Bushman).
And now, spiritually speaking, if you don't’ admit you’ve sinned, how can you expect God to forgive you and yourself to move forward spiritually?
The answer to both questions: YOU CAN’T.
And in God, there is no standing still. Oh sure, we say that for the sake of conversation, but really there’s only 1) moving forward and 2) moving backward. At what point does one actually become backslidden? I don’t know, the Bible doesn’t say. Yet when one has become so caught up in their own delusions and openly rejects or “skips” over the Word of God, and remains unrepentant, then they will eventually leave the ranks of Heaven to join the ranks of Hell. God doesn’t do it, they do it to themselves.
Truly, these times of ignorance God overlooked, but now commands all men everywhere to repent… (Acts 17:30)
Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent. (Revelation 2:5)
Repent, or else I will come to you quickly and will fight against them with the sword of My mouth. (Revelation 2:16)
Remember therefore how you have received and heard; hold fast and repent. Therefore if you will not watch, I will come upon you as a thief, and you will not know what hour I will come upon you. (Revelation 3:3)
God doesn’t mince words when it comes to repentance; neither should we.
The Ravaging of Divorce
So now, let’s take a look at the definite and potential repercussions of divorce.
Rejection of God & His Word. (Sin)
Causing Offense. (Sin)
Inviting the Generational Curse of Divorce Down to the 3rd & 4th Generations. (Iniquity, Sin)
[Possible] Rebellion in Children a.k.a. Provoking Your children to Wrath. (Sin)
Loss of Testimony. (Unfortunate)
When I was in middle and high school, I messed around with fake nails from the drugstore every now and then. And what I quickly learned is that that nail glue is the devil to mess with!! If you pull the nails off as you undoubtedly will, you rip off layers of your nail. It takes a while to repair and heal.
Men who have messed around with super glue and crazy glue have had similar experiences.
Now if tearing something glued to your skin is traumatic (and trust me, it is!), then how ‘bout tearing your soul away from another? That’s exactly what divorce is! It’s where the violence comes in. As Jesus said, married folks (ONE man + ONE woman) become one. When you divorce, you tear yourselves in half. And likely, you tear your children in half. They feel (and sometimes are made to) pick a parent to live with, side with...your tear the household you built up. You tear your church if you’re in ministry. You tear your social circle. You tear any joint ventures (and bank accounts) you once shared.
God doesn’t tear; He never tears. He may cut, but clean cuts can be healed from. He prunes us for His use and purpose. It is Satan who tears, steals, and robs us of what is ours. When you divorce, you’re not pruning, you’re tearing and thus aligning yourself with Satan. So who do you want to side with? The Great Healer or the Great Liar?
The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. (John 10:10)
I’m not marriage counsellor, but I know what the Word says. It’s very clear on the subject of divorce. Many will be offended by reading this post, yet the Bible already warns us that in the last days, many will be offended. And my spiritual padre always say that offense is a sign of spiritual immaturity. So if this post offends you, it just shows you where you are spiritually.